The Battle of Central Park
by DrunkenTavern
Summary: After discovering a stash of paintball guns, the penguins start using firearms in their missions. But after refusing to let King Julien 'play' with them, an all out Penguin-Lemur war breaks out which devastates the entire zoo.
1. Part One: A 'Trip' to the Zoo

**The Battle of Central Park**

Plot Summary: After discovering a stash of paintball guns, the penguins start using firearms in their missions. But after refusing to let King Julien 'play' with them, an all out Penguin-Lemur war breaks out which devastates the entire zoo.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Penguins of Madagascar

**-*Note*-**

_I'm back baby!  
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_Greeting friends, and fanfic readers. After about two weeks of absence due to sick leave, I've come back to continue the stories I love to read and write. I have decided to write this short story since I feel I'll need to sharpen my writing skills since I wasn't even allowed on a computer (can you believe that!) and I've gotten a bit rusty. I'll probably finish this first before continuing 'Only when I Sleep', since I never write when in a bad mood or just not feeling what Panacea447 calls 'the writer's vibe'. I thank you for your patience for updates and to those who wished me well, I cannot thank you enough. Thanks also to EppopinkfangirlXDXDXD for granting permission to use her character Hope from her story 'Girl' (If you haven't read it, you should since it's just plain epic!). Big thanks to Panacea447 for continuing 'Only when I Sleep' when I was gone. It really means a lot to me.__ As always, please R&R, I'd love to hear your opinions._

_~From the DrunkenTavern, DrunkenRookie  
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**Part One: A 'Trip' to the Zoo**

"Alright Kids! This is – uhh – a lemur.", stuttered Alice in a thoroughly bored voice, extreme dislike for her job radiating throughout each syllable. The group of visiting school children tailing behind her, barely listening to what she had to say, since she just had to read off the information tablet adjacent to each respective habitat.

"The lemur is native to Madagascar, and is also a primate, just like the chimpanzees, and gorillas we also have at the Central Park Zoo." Alice drawled while gesturing towards a dancing white-furred lemur with a black and white tail that attempted a moonwalk.

Alice' vision drifted away and sought for a moment of respite while the children enjoyed watching the three lemurs dance for them. Her gaze lingered on a tiny mouse-lemur that all the girls were giggling at, before it focused on the nearby penguin habitat. She smirked when she saw the stupid birds waving at a crowd of tourists. The penguins were more trouble than they were worth. The Zoo officials actually thought she was crazy that she accused such "cute and cuddly" birds of attacking people, stealing objects all around the zoo, and assaulting the lemurs. They dismissed her case, and the only one who believed her was a large former animal control officer who refused to tell her his name for some stupid reason. She was lucky enough to keep her job, but left her knowing she wouldn't deal that card ever again.

Deciding the Lemurs had hogged enough of this school group, she yelled at them to follow her, wanting to get the tour over with as soon as physically possible but not to the point of violating the recently added 'at-least-five-minutes-per-habitat-or-you're-fired' clause in her contract. She was either too bored or too concerned about this that she didn't notice the two.

"Kitty, I don't even know why you asked mom to take us to the zoo. I hate it here!", Leo complained silently to his older sister, repeatedly glancing at the zookeeper nervously underneath his cap. He hefted his heavy and rather large backpack over his shoulders.

"You know I like it here at the zoo. It's been my favorite place to be other than home." Kitty replied peevishly, also glancing up at Alice.

"Just because you like it here?" scoffed her brother. "I'd rather go smash some dweebs on my Pony Slaystation than go back to this dump!"

"First of all it's not a dump. Second, that zookeeper lady is not smart enough to know we're not part of this field trip. I can see it in her eyes, she hates her job, maybe more than she hates kids, so she won't notice us as long as we stick to some kids on field trip. Third, if you think it's such a dump, then our friends will think the same thing, and we won't have to worry about spies snooping on our strategy."

All Leo could do was smirk, but nonetheless accepted his sister's idea. He was small and wiry, his untidy golden-blond hair partially covered by a cap that cast most of his light-complexioned face into shadow, the only light coming from his aqua blue eyes. Sweat from his back clung to the crumpled T-shirt he was wearing, and dripped onto the jeans he was wearing. He walked slowly behind the eager group of fifth graders on sneakers a size too large. It was easy to spot the contrast between him and his sister. Kitty was half a head taller than him, hair the same color as her brother's that reached to her back tied up in a casual ponytail. She wore a white shirt tucked into large flowing jeans that had enough extra material to make a second pair for her brother. She walked alongside Leo in extremely-white trainers that reflected the light from the afternoon sun. Like her smaller sibling, she also sported a large backpack. They followed the children to the otter enclosure, paying no attention to the semi-aquatic mammal as she performed acrobatic feats but discussing something else, something more important to them.

"No, I say we use Johnny, Leah, and Stan to draw most of their fire, then us two with Erik, Ann, and Nathan flank them from the left and right. Smart plan, right?" Leo smiled.

"Yeah, if you were trying to give them a quick win.", said his sister sarcastically. "Penny's smart, she'd be expecting that from us. She'll outflank us if she notices only three of our people firing on them from the front, best if we stick together. I still don't get why Shadow and Ghost are on their team. It's not fair!"

"Sure it ain't fair; they're the best when it comes to the whole stealth thing. Still, why don't we try deathballing them?"

His sister shook her head as they followed the group of schoolchildren to the penguin habitat, the animals inside performing stunts that elicited 'oohs' and 'ahhs' from the crowd. Leo watched halfheartedly while Kitty smiled and watched the Antarctic creatures perform nosedives and back flips into the water with renewed interest. She was interrupted when her brother groaned and turned his head away, muttering something about 'stupid birds' and she forcefully turned her gaze away. A pout formed on her face and she twisted her head to scowl at her brother, but she came face-to-face with the lady zookeeper. A look of surprise formed on her face, and the red-haired woman eyed her suspiciously. Deciding whether to run for it or not, her blue eyes searched for her brother, but he was nowhere to be seen.

"Huh, why are you carrying such a big bag for a field trip?"

"Ummm, these are the books I'll need for a report." Said Kitty, her voice a faint whisper, doubtful the zookeeper would buy such a tall tale. But to her surprise, she did.

Shrugging in apparent disinterest, she veered off to lead the students to the next attraction. Sighing heavily, she closed her eyes, but opened them immediately when she heard someone beside her.

"Whoa, 'books for a report'! Nice save sis." Leo smirked, hefting his backpack in mockery.

"Where were you!" she snapped, watching his smirk grow into a grin. "Thanks for the backup then!"

"So, what's your plan on checkmating Penny?"

"I don't know right now. We'll just have to talk with our team and plan it from there on. A mousetrap opener or maybe Dante's Death Machine?"

"Can't we just spy on – " Leo began, but shut his mouth as he turned his head to see the four penguins staring at the two with blue eyes.

"Don't worry, they're just penguins, and they don't bite unless you're a fish." Assured Kitty, and placed a hand on her brother's shoulder, and then turned to veer him away from the penguin habitat, but froze when a voice called out to them.

"Kitty, Leo! There you two are!"

"Oh no, Mom!" Leo groaned louder, and turned to see their mother striding towards them, a little girl beside her holding her right hand, her left clutching her purse.

Their mother was alarmingly similar to Kitty, only having aged thirty years, with her golden-colored hair short and cropped that clashed horribly with the khaki business uniform she was wearing. The little girl beside her, though, was looked far different than her siblings. Her hair was a deep-brown color that made you think of old oaks, her eyes a dull grey, and her rather thin frame made you think she was going to be swept away by the wind if she had not grasped her mother's hand. The elegant white dress she was wearing was the only contrast to the otherwise ragdoll appearance.

"Kids, I said you could have fifteen minutes at the zoo, but it's almost twenty. Now come on, we're going to be late for little Hope's recital." Said their mother impatiently, the girl beside her doing a small, stationary dance routine while she hummed the tune of '_Swan Lake_'.

"Sure Mom." Kitty answered curtly as Hope gave a squeal of delight and ran to her and wrapped her arms around Kitty's waist.

"But Mom," Leo complained. "I don't want to go, it's just an auditorium filled with parents, cameras, and dancing kids!"

His mother's eyes narrowed crossly, a pout forming on her lined face and her blue eyes showing hints of a storm brewing beyond the coastline.

"Thomas Leonardo McGrath, you will see your sister's recital!" replied his mother in a last-word-voice.

"The whole family's gonna be there right?" Leo replied sarcastically.

"Look Leo, just because Hope here was adopted, it doesn't mean she's any less a part of this family than you are. Now come on, we're going to be late."

"Mama," squealed a voice around Kitty's legs. "What is abopped mean?"

"It's 'adopted' sweetie, and it means you're part of a very happy family."

"Cool Mom, but is it alright if we use the bathroom here? The next one isn't for a couple miles more and we really need to go." Kitty said quickly. "Right Leo?"

"What? You go, I don-t wan-**OW!**" He began but was interrupted by a punch that met his left shoulder before he was practically dragged by his sister away from his mother's sight.

"What was that for!" He demanded when she peeked her head out behind a corner.

"Shhh! Mom can't know we brought our 'equipment'. We'll just have to hide it here then come back for it tomorrow."

"Are you nuts sis! We can't hide anything at the zoo, they'll find it!"

"Not if they don't know where to look." Quickly retorted his sister, and she knelt by the padlocked entrance, took out a hairpin she had in her pocket and began to pick the look. "This is the Zoo's storage facility, they only check in here once a day to get food for the animals. We'll just hide it to make it look like a damaged appliance or something. I just need to get this stupid door open. Should just take me a f – There!"

With a loud click, Kitty removed the hairpin and the padlock, and entered the Storage room, her brother behind her. Despite the darkness, it was easy to see the room was vast, and filled with sacks of supplies, coolers, and various other objects they couldn't even name. The girl approached a small cluster of rusted dumpsters and threw her backpack inside it.

"There. They wouldn't bother to check in here."

"How would you know that?" Leo asked skeptically, but did the same with his backpack.

"Because these zoo employees are addicted to routine, it's kinda day-in-day-out for them. They don't even notice anything weird happening around here. Hey, are you even listening?"

Kitty turned to exit the storage room but saw her brother muttering to himself.

"I swear those penguins are up to something. I mean, the way they keep looking at me, it's like I'm being studied, and I swear I even caught one of them hurling up dynamite."

"Wait, what? That's ridiculous!" she said, walking towards the exit with her brother. "Penguins don't hurl dynamite!"

"Oh yeah! My buddy Ronald even said those penguins tried to give him a wedgie, chased him to the museum, tried to steal his notebook, and even brainwashed our teacher. I didn't believe him at first, but – well – maybe he's right."

"I'll say it again: that's ridiculous!" she scoffed, locking the door again and replacing the padlock, and then walked towards the penguin habitat, her brother behind her.

"It isn't ridiculous! I mean, aren't you even a little curious? You can't be so blind that you can't see what's happening? Dad even told me this story of how an animal control officer buddy of his claimed the penguins were always up to something, like stealing and trying to kill him. That's not crazy! And how come Hope keeps on having dreams of penguins all the time? It can't just be a coincidence."

"Come on! You can't seriously believe that peng – " Kitty began but stopped abruptly when she saw her little sister kneeling before the penguin habitat, giggling and playing with a short, chubby penguin _outside_ the enclosure. She turned her head to look for her mother, but she was nowhere to be seen. She looked around to see Leo staring at Hope and the penguin doing a small jig for her, a look of pure disbelief on his face. Curious, she walked towards the penguin habitat, only to see it empty.

"Hey, weren't there four of - ?" she asked but was interrupted by the sudden reappearance of their mother, two sticks of cotton candy in each hand. Kitty turned to look at her, but instead saw Hope beside her, munching on the treat her mother brought. She spun around so fast it was a blur, only to see the lone penguin smiling up at her and waving from inside the habitat. Her eyes narrowing in suspicion, she opened her mouth to talk to the bird, but was interrupted once more by her mother's voice.

"Done? Alright kids, let's go." She said, giving a stick of cotton candy to Leo, or at least to his hand. He was still staring dumbstruck at the place Hope and penguin were a moment before. His daze was broken when Kitty gave him a hard nudge in the ribs. He turned his head to retort, but froze when he saw Kitty pointing at the distant forms of their Mom and Hope. The two siblings followed them, nervously meeting each other's eyes and glancing repeatedly at the small penguin waving to them.


	2. Part Two: Paintball 101

**The Battle of Central Park**

Plot Summary: After discovering a stash of paintball guns, the penguins start using firearms in their missions. But after refusing to let King Julien 'play' with them, an all out Penguin-Lemur war breaks out which devastates the entire zoo.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Penguins of Madagascar

**-*Note*-**

_Thanks so much for the awesome feedback guys! Thanks to reviewers InternetGirl123,__ EppopinkfangirlXDXDXD (thanks so much again!), to Kukipye, to Skystar Leader of FlameClan, and to hardrocker21. By the way, my sister Triksterr206 is running a PoM Poll, which can be seen on the DrunkenTavern Help Desk (profile page), so votes are very much appreciated. Read, enjoy, and review:_

_~DrunkenRookie_**  
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**Part Two: "Paintball 101"**

"Skippah! Skippah, look! It's little Hope!" Private yelled and danced in joy, pointing at someone while the group of tourists and schoolchildren cleared.

Skipper's eyes followed his outstretched flipper and his eyes lit up in delight at the sight of the girl. He smiled inwardly at the memories all of them had shared together: her demonic biological mother; raising her almost as one of their own; how they had come to know her name; and the _peas_. Skipper shuddered at the memory of the last one, peas were just _never_ supposed to be used that way. Kowalski and Rico also looked up from the routine they were performing, and caught the girl in the white dress striding beside a middle-aged blond woman. They looked at each other and smiled at the girl trying to dance while walking alongside the woman.

"Well, whaddya know? It is her! Good eyes, Private!" Skipper said, giving him a pat on the back, but then pointed at a girl almost face-to-face with Alice and the boy right behind the zookeeper. "But take a look at those two over there, there's something about them that just doesn't sit right with me."

"Are you sure Skipper?" asked Kowalski. "They're just children!"

"Yup!", grunted Rico, but in doing so regurgitated a stick of dynamite, which fortunately wasn't lit. He giggled nervously and then swallowed it. He waved at the departing crowds, but suddenly stopped when the boy glared at him. The penguins glared back, trying to look innocent enough to get him to go away.

Luckily, his sister carted him away just as the blonde woman caught her and shouted her name. After some discussion, the two walked away from the woman and Hope. Deciding quickly, Skipper pointed the two, and sprang out the wall that separated their habitat from the rest of the zoo.

"Private, Distraction Tactic Alpha, execute!" Skipper yelled while clearing the wall, Kowalski and Rico behind him just as Private started waving and smiling at no one in particular.

The others slid on their bellies to gain ground on the distant forms of the two approaching the Zoo's storage facilities. Skipper held up a flipper and they came to a halt, peeking behind a lamp post as the girl began to pick the lock. A moment later, it clicked open.

'_Whoever these kids are, they know their stuff._' Skipper thought, his eyes narrowing in suspicion. '_They _have_ to be spies. The female looks Russian to me, probably northern. Alexei must've caught up with me. How'd that nuclear-crazed maniac be able to track me down?_'

The penguins stealthily followed the duo as they entered the dark storage room, weaving in and out of dark hiding spots and watching the two. Skipper saw the girl lift up a dumpster lid and toss it her rather large backpack into it. The boy beside her did the same, and they left the room. The door shut, locking them in the darkness. Skipper heard Rico grunt and a flashlight clicked on, throwing each of them in a pale halo of light. He pointed a flipper to the two, who nodded in response and jumped on top of a nearby stack of boxes behind the rusty, old dumpster, taking each of their positions next to it. Taking his own position, Skipper laid his flippers on the lid. Kowalski and Rico tensed, the former catching a small bomb-diffusing kit regurgitated by the latter. His eyes narrowing, Skipper lifted the lid and jumped down next to the backpacks, his webbed feet touching rusted metal as he landed. He motioned to the others and they landed next to him. Rico held the flashlight steady, and Kowalski approached the backpacks warily with the kit in hand. The strategist opened the closest one, and sighed in relief. He turned it so Skipper could see the contents.

"So, they're not spies." Skipper said, his voice echoing throughout the dark room, as he picked one up and held it in the light. "They're weapon smugglers and dealers."

It was a paintball marker made of lightweight aluminum painted black, and its size forced Skipper to hold it with both flippers to stop it from falling. Kowalski appeared behind him with a packet of balls which he assumed was the ammunition for the marker.

"Whatever these kids are up to, I don't like it." Skipper whispered, more to himself than to the others, staring at the marker in his flippers.

"Ghemmeghemmeghemme!" Rico blabbed crazily, dropping the flashlight and snatching the piece of equipment from Skipper and the packet from Kowalski. Before the two could stop the mad penguin, an air-propelled shot rang out. A second later, the beam of the flashlight fell on an old refrigerator splattered with blue paint.

"Stand down Rico!" Skipper yelled as he grabbed the gun from Rico before he could fire another shot. Even though it was a non-lethal form of combat, the scarred penguin still reveled in destruction. Rico grunted in disappointment, and picked up the flashlight.

"Skipper, what are we going to do with this equipment?" Kowalski asked, replacing the marker and the packet of ammunition in the bag. "We can't just leave it here. I calculate someone is bound to come across it."

"Don't worry Kowalski, we'll put it to good use. And I have a good idea of what to do with it…" Skipper mused, a knowing smile forming on his beak.

**-*Later On…*-**

Private waved at the retreating family, the smile still present on his beak. He turned around when he heard a noise behind him, and saw his fellow teammates approach, lifting a rather large black backpack. He approached the edge of the platform to greet them, but was crushed by the thrown backpack. Disoriented but unfazed, Private squirmed from underneath the heavy bag to see the others beside him.

"Up and at it Private." Skipper said, lifting the bag off of him.

"Nice to see you again whatsyourname, Jolly good show isn't it, eh, what?" stuttered Private swaying to and fro, his eyes unfocused. He felt a hard slap to the side of his face and shook off his dizziness.

"Sorry Skippah. A little dizzy is all. You alright? So what'd you find?" Private said, rubbing the side of his face where it still throbbed.

"It went just dandy Private. Come on, I'll show it to you." He said, placing a flipper around the younger penguin just as Kowalski and Rico vanished down the fish-bowl entrance into their lair.

Private landed next to Skipper, and saw Rico unpacking the contents of the bag, while Kowalski was nowhere to be seen. Private looked from Rico to Skipper, and then at Rico again. He was holding one of the strangest devices Private had ever seen. It resembled a firearm, but the young penguin could tell it was far different. He had also assumed Skipper had other plans for it, as he would not bring it to the lair without any purpose for it. The door leading to Kowalski's lab burst open and the owner exited and ran over to Skipper with such speed Private thought his feet would burst into flames. He held up something in his flippers which Skipper took and analyzed. Looking at it, it was just a miniaturized version of the device Rico held, except it was too large to fit in his flippers, but the one Kowalski had was small enough to fit in Skipper's.

"Good news Skipper! I used my Shrink Ray to miniaturize the guns so we can use them during our operations." Kowalski said, the shrink ray in flipper. "And I've also done the same to the ammunition, and there are four of them, one for each of us so were good to go!"

He directed it at the one Rico held, and fired a blast. After a flash of green light, Private noticed it was small enough to fit in his flippers. Rico cried out in glee and regurgitated a white block with target circles painted on it. Skipper steadied his weapon, aimed, and then fired a round. Sure enough, the blue paint splattered the center of the target.

"And that's how you do it boys!" Skipper smiled with satisfaction, but was startled when a presence materialized behind him, a _feminine_ presence at that.

"What goes on guys?" Marlene greeted as Skipper whirled around to see her smiling up at him. "Ooooh! Whatcha got there Skipper?"

"Marlene! How many times do I have to tell you not to interrupt us during our covert operations?" Skipper demanded, his beak within inches of Marlene's nose. At least he didn't tackle her to the ground like he normally did.

"Yeah, you're one to talk about interruptions!" Marlene growled, shoving her face forward to point where her nose almost touched the tip of Skipper's snarling beak. "A little hypocritical, don't you think?"

"We are authorized to gain entry in times of emergencies!" Skipper yelled, droplets of spit adorning Marlene's whiskers.

"So what you're saying is that an emergency involves running into my home at 2:30 in the morning, grabbing me by the cheeks and asking me to do what again?" she fumed, a mockery of deep thought forming on her face. "Oh yeah, of asking me to kiss you during your delusional rampage around the zoo because you ate seventeen buckets of ice cream. After which you vomited on and off again on my carpeted floor, and passed out right after you asked me to be your grandmother!"

"Hey! That doesn't count, and you know anything can happen during a sugar rush. Besides, you dared me to eat the ice cream!" Skipper yelled, he beak _now_ touching Marlene's nose while the others watched with awe at the two, confused as to whether they should help Skipper or not.

"No, I asked if you wanted some!" Marlene shouted, wiping the droplets of spit on her face.

"**THAT WAS ONE TIME!**" Skipper exploded, dropping the paintball gun. "**IF I HADN'T GONE ON THAT DATE WITH YOU, THAT WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED!**"

"Huh, if I hadn't dragged your sorry butt back here, you'd be sleeping in your own puke!" growled Marlene, clearly peeved at Skipper's constant attitude, but undaunted by the raging penguin in front of her.

"**IF YOU HADN'T - !**" Skipper began, but stopped abruptly when something yellow fell on his head. Rubbing the spot where it landed, he stooped to pick it up, and saw it was a mango.

"What the - ?"

"Helo der neighbor! Have you been seeing da runaway mango, its sweetiness is all dat I am to be needing for my smoodee!"

King Julien came down the entrance and smiled when he saw it in Skipper's outstretched flippers, but his eyes caught the dropped marker beside it.

"Oooh! One of da newest toys in da market. So dis is wat da kiddys are playing wid todays."

He reached for it, but Skipper snatched it up and hid it behind his back. He disliked Marlene barging in, but he _hated_ it when Julien did it.

"It's not a toy Ringtail! Just take your mango and go!" Skipper yelled, thrusting the mango at Julien.

"Ummm, I'm just gonna go." Marlene said, nervously playing with her paws as she exited the lair.

"Den wat is it?" Julien asked, but his eyes fell on the painted target beside Kowalski. "Ahh! A painty shooter. I see you penguins are to be expressing your creativity. Very well den, I will to be giving you da chance to let it be shining. I am commisyoning you to be doing a royal mural of me by da, hmmm, da elephant habitat, coz it's just so shabby, y'know?"

"Grrrr! Get out!" Skipper yelled, grabbing the lemur and bodily throwing him out.

"Okey! Later den silly penguins! Hmm I was tinking a little Romanesque-y for da mural, hmm." Julien mused as his voice faded away.

"Good!" Skipper cried exasperatedly. "Now that those two are out of the way…"

Skipper directed his gun at the target once more, and fired another round, striking true as it did before. He fired another, and it too hit the center.

"Huh, much better than the pea shooters. Alright boys, grab one and let's get the training underway."


	3. Part Three: Antebellum Tantrum

**The Battle of Central Park**

Plot Summary: After discovering a stash of paintball guns, the penguins start using firearms in their missions. But after refusing to let King Julien 'play' with them, an all out Penguin-Lemur war breaks out which devastates the entire zoo.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Penguins of Madagascar

**-*Note:*-**

_Finally have enough room in my school schedule to update. Who said life as a student is easy? I'll find him and then I'll -. Thanks so much for the reviews, they always make me to InternetGirl123, EppopinkfangirlXDXDXD, lemurqueen, Kukipye, xxAznPenguin, TheOtterWoman, and hardrocker21. Read, and it's up to you if you enjoyed it or you want to review it._

_~DrunkenRookie_

**Part Three: Antebellum Tantrum**

"Private, I've got a visual." Kowalski whispered through the small radio in his fin, the bush he was pressed up against giving him an enormous amount of shadow concealing the form of the tall penguin.

He wrapped his flipper more tightly around his rifle on his side, his belly aching from the long contact with the hard ground. He surveyed the area carefully as his sapphire eyes caught the pale-colored hexagonal tiles stretching beyond sight and the huge banner with gigantic letters plastered on the entrance that read, '_HAPPY 4__TH__ OF JULY, ZOO CLOSED_'. The bushes beside the entrance ticket booth were uncomfortable and provided meager cover at best, but it had to do. He could clearly see the flag sitting atop their habitat's stone platform.

"_Copy that K'walski!_" came a voice from the radio in his other flipper. He angled his vision upwards, and saw Private stealthily climbing over the wall and into the zoo.

"Eight meters to the objective Private!" Kowalski whispered to the radio, his flipper releasing the button as he shifted his rifle in front of him, all pain from his belly receding before he focused his aim. He steadied his flippers and took aim, ready to lay cover fire to protect Private's retrieval of the objective. He could see Private through his scope, his smaller rifle in his flippers, hiding along the wall that enclosed their habitat.

His short frame was useful, and it allowed him to pass through easily. He sprang out of the pool and slid on his belly towards the flag. Through the scope attached to his rifle, Kowalski caught the manic glint that flashed in Private's eyes. Excitement coursed through Kowalski as victory was assured for his team, Skipper didn't even do anything! At that thought, it took him only a second to realize the truth. Snapping out of his daze, he refocused his eyes to his scope and saw Private, not jumping up in victory or holding the flag high with pride, but splattered with blue paint and laying down on the ground. He jerked his head upwards to in surprise, only to feel the unmistakable edge of a gun pressed against his head, and Skipper's deep voice close to him.

"Checkmate Kowalski."

His beak dropping in awe, he looked through his scope and saw Rico holding the flag high and babbling crazily before he jumped on the helpless Private and started stomping him into the ground. A frown breaking over his beak, Kowalski stood and followed Skipper out the bush, still awed at how Skipper had seen through his plan. He opened his beak to ask, but Skipper was no longer next to him, but towards the penguin habitat. Kowalski followed and then watched as Rico jumped off Private and high-fived Skipper's raised flipper.

Kowalski sighed and picked Private up, Rico's violent stomping leaving cracks and craters on the once smooth rock, the youngling semiconscious and covered in bruises and bright-blue paint. He rubbed the side of his head, Kowalski placing his flipper on his shoulders and going down the ladder. Reaching the bottom of it, he carried Private and placed him on the bottommost bunk.

Dumping the walkie-talkie and rifle in no particular direction, he walked over to the table in the center of the room and decided to test his newest invention one more time. It looked like a prism rectangular in shape, covered in shiny white metal and plugged into a nearby outlet. Writing a few notes on the clipboard that suddenly appeared in his flipper, Kowalski thought about his newest breakthrough.

"_Ahh! The Buttwarmer 5000 is just a masterpiece! Why didn't I invent this gizmo a long time ago?_"

He placed two cartridges in the twin vertical holes at the top and pushed the lever that triggered it down. Hearing voices from above him, glanced up to see Rico, Skipper and surprisingly Marlene jumping down the ladder. Judging by the heated look on Skipper's face, he was still annoyed about what happened the other day.

" – I came for was the toaster you guys borrowed, but I still didn't get it back." Marlene was saying before jumping off the ladder.

"Hey, penguins like bread too." Skipper said nonchalantly, although his brow continued to sink into that characteristic V-shape it always made when had angry.

"Y'know, you guys always 'borrow' stuff, but you never return it." To further stress her point, Marlene emphasized the word 'borrow' and even did a quoting gesture with her fingers.

"We'll return it when we finish with it." Skipper said in an 'end-of-conversation' attitude.

"Why? What are you even using it for?" the otter demanded in a 'no-it-ain't' manner. "Penguins don't even eat bread!

"That's classified! And bread has other purposes too!" the penguin replied in an 'it-is-when-I-say-so' tone.

"Like wha - " Marlene began in her 'no-but-it-is-if-you-interrupt-again-then-I'll-shove-my-fist-up-your-' voice, but stopped when her eyes fell on Kowalski's newest invention. Her eyes widening, she ran towards it.

"Ah Marlene!" Kowalski said curtly. "I see you've found my newest invention."

"Newest what? This is my toaster!" Marlene growled, her eyes wandering over the machine.

"No, it's the Buttwarmer 5000, my newest invention. It - " Kowalski began but was interrupted by Private's voice.

"Do you smell something?"

The others sniffed too, and Kowalski realized the cartridges were finished processing. Approaching the machine, he slid the lever down again they popped out of the twin holes, a short ringing sound accompanying it. Picking them up carefully because of their temperature, he took one and offered it to Marlene.

"Buttwarmer?" he asked promptly.

"What?" she asked, tilting her head to the side in case she misheard the tall penguin.

"You place it under your butt and sit on it, so you'll be warm and comfortable in your chair. It really works."

Marlene stared at it in disbelief, her mouth dropped in horror and she slowly backed away from Kowalski. She would have bolted out their habitat if Julien had not barged in at that moment, Maurice and Mort following closely behind. The tiny mouse lemur's eyes were locked on Julien's feet while Maurice's were hidden behind a clipboard, making him look strikingly similar to Kowalski.

"Okey den, I have been in a tinky mood 'bout da mural and - " Julien said in his most regal gimme-wat-I-am-wanting-becoz-I-am-da-King voice, but paused when his eyes fell on the golden-brown piece of loaf in Kowalski's flipper.

"Oooh! A buttwarmer, just what I be needing." Julien made a lunge for it, but Skipper stretched out a flipper and held him back.

"What in Rockgut's name are you doing here Ring-tail!" Skipper hissed while trying to hold the lemur back.

"Fine den, forget da buttwarming. Listen, I have been in a tinky mood 'bout da mural you penguins will be doing to forever capture my regal profile."

"**FOR THE LAST TIME, WE'RE NOT DOING THE MURAL!**" Skipper roared at Julien, shoving his face in the lemur's. He was still incredibly annoyed at the lemur's constant badgering the other day about the mural.

"Correct silly penguin." Julien said calmly.

"**AND FURTHERMORE** – wait, what did you say?"

"I am saying dat you are correct, but not as correct as your King. Nuh-uh, that will nevah happen, since my correctiness is absolutely absolute then it wud - "

"**WELL!**"

"Very well den, seeing as how my royal time is very limited to be being spent on such lower class subjects such as yourselves, it would be disastrous to my schedule to be keeping you waiting. Keeping you in da waiting would be spending too much of my time. He-hey, be waiting a minute, is it even being possible to be spending da time? Time - "

"**GET TO YOUR POINT RINGTAIL!**"

"Nononononoh stupid penguin, der is no pointiness on my booty. Der is only - "

"I'll give you this buttwarmer if you'll just tell us." Kowalski said, holding out the loaf before Skipper exploded and all what was going to left of the lemur would be able to fit in a matchbox.

Julien sighed with both exasperation and relief, and wordlessly snatched it from Kowalski. He held it with both paws, but frowned threw it away. "Eh, it's cold."

"Butt never be minding da buttwarmer; my booty is always hot."

To emphasize this, he turned around and started shaking his behind, the long and furry tail brushing against Skipper's face. Kowalski could clearly see the commando's beak start to curl into a snarl and quiver in rage. The strategist knew he had to work quickly to prevent the nuclear meltdown that was imminent, and he launched himself, tackling the lemur to the ground. Suffering the lemur's insults was infinitely better than having to survive the Skipper fallout. The two landed next to the bunk Private was on, and he looked up to see himself on top of Julien, who was smiling at him.

"Look smarty penguin, if you are being such a big fan of my booty shaking, applausing or screaming for many more would be working just fine."

Kowalski turned to see Skipper starting to calm down, and gave a sigh of relief. He stood up and, after much hesitation, helped Julien up as well.

"What was it that you were going to say King Julien?" Kowalski asked rather politely, wanting to be rid of the annoying mammal before he could trigger another meltdown.

"Ahh yes, I have been tinking 'bout da mural you wud be doing, but den I saw wat it also can be used for." At this, a wide grin spread over his face and he dashed to Rico's side and put an arm around the scarred penguin in a friendly fashion. "Very nice Rico, da way you stomped dat penguin into da ground, now dat is wat I am to be talking about."

A hearty chuckle escaped Julien as he started ruffling Rico's Mohawk, the penguin blabbering crazily in laughter and raising his paintball marker high.

"Now dat is way, way, way better dan fancy mural painting! I want to be having dat same feeling, all da painty shooting, all da weaky people all humiliated, now dat is the real mural!"

"So this is all about those firearms we found in the zoo storage facility?"

"Yes, dat is it, dose arms of fire is all I wud be needing for no one to be questioning my royalty! So be telling me, wer can I get me one of dos tings?"

"No can do Ringtail! This is top secret penguin equipment; we won't let any unauthorized personnel get their grimy paws on our latest technology!"

"Well, I am not knowing whose paws are da grimiest, but I am to be needing one. I am to be appointing Rico to be my royal painter, and also the royal buttkicker!"

At this, Rico started to jabber maniacally and started firing shots at the ceiling before Skipper slapped him on the head.

"**NO UNAUTHORIZED PERSONNEL!**" Skipper shouted in Julien's face, and Kowalski prepared himself for another tackle if it came to that.

"Oh come on Skipper," Marlene said, standing next to the commando. "I think it's nice Julien wants to play with you guys."

"For your information Marlene, we don't 'play'. We operate on a very strict code, and under no circumstances would I even do such a ridiculous task with someone as ridiculous as Ringtail!"

"What? Oh come on, just this once?"

"**NOOOOOOOOOO!**"

"Wat wid da wat wat now? Are you to be saying the N-word to your King?"

"**NO! EN-OH! NO!**"

"**WAT!**"

The two would have launched themselves at each other if Maurice had not held Julien back and Skipper wasn't tackled by Kowalski.

"No one says no to the King." Maurice said plainly as if he were just having regular conversation with the two over a cup of tea.

"And no one touches penguin equipment." Kowalski replied in the same manner, trying to hold Skipper down. "It appears we have reached an impasse."

"Yes, the smarty penguin is right! This 'impus' can only be settled one way! Gimme da painty shooty and we'll call it even!"

"**NEVER RINGTAIL! Y'HEAR? NEVER!**"

"**BUT I AM TO BE WANTING IT! GIMME! GIMME! GIMME!**"

"Look Kowalski," Maurice said casually while straining to hold on to Julien's waist. "We can't settle it this way."

"Agreed, there has to be some other way."

"**YEAH DER IS ANUDER WAY!**" Julien roared, and stopped trying to claw out Skipper's eyes.

"There is?" Skipper asked curiously, and ceased trying to reach for Julien's face and punch it as hard as he can.

"Yes der is. I, the most illustrious King Julien XIII, as King, which is I, me and myself, am to be declaring _war_ on dese penguins, in da name of my most glorious Kingdom!"

At the word war, everyone in the room gasped in horror, all except Skipper, who burst into laughter instead.

"You? Declare war on us? Are you really that crazy? You'd have no chance!"

"Den so being it, silly penguin, now be preparing yourselves. Come Maurice."

And with that Julien strode off to the ladder, climbed it, and exited the lair. Maurice stopped at the top rung, shrugged apologetically to the penguins and Marlene, and followed the monarch mammal out of the former's habitat.

"That ringtail has got no chance against us. Now Marlene, what were you saying about that toaster of yours?" He said, turning to look at her.

"Nah, you can keep it." She replied absentmindedly, her eyes locked on the spot Julien had vanished. "I'll just go then…"

**-*Later On…*-**

Deciding not to worry about King Julien's empty threats of war, Skipper sat in a chair in the corner with a cup of coffee in his flipper as he watched Private grooming the Lunacorn he held. He sighed and shifted his gaze to see Rico waltzing with the plastic doll in the opposite corner, and Kowalski was watching the weather channel on TV.

Skipper sighed and thought about what the Ringtail had said. He incredibly doubted the lemur's capability to lead, even more in times that concerned war. And yet he possessed followers that would – well – follow him anywhere and do whatever he wanted them to do. Mort was a hopeless devotee, always going after his monarch's feet. The reason as to why he kept doing that Skipper never wanted to know. At least Maurice had some sense in him, but the aye-aye would be better off as King, and it was that Ringtail that should be the one groveling. He had served with Maurice numerous times, and Skipper would have been lying if he said that their teamwork wasn't as good as his team's.

Skipper's deep thoughts were interrupted when something came down the hatch and rolled to the center of their habitat. Looking up, he saw it was another mango which Julien had apparently dropped again. He smirked at this, Julien was never much of a general, and he would come crawling back to Skipper saying he was sorry for his foolish action before Skipper even commenced his attack on the lemurs. But then he started to doubt that plan as the mango _exploded_, spraying fruit juices and pulp everywhere, Private receiving most of it. More mangos came down the hatch and shortly afterwards detonated like the one before it. After the last mango had detonated, the whole habitat was colored a yellow-orange hue, the penguins drenched in sticky juice. From above their habitat, the unmistakable sound of King Julien's laughter echoed. Everyone stared dumbstruck at each other; not wanting to believe what they had just witnessed just as Skipper spoke, breaking the silence.

"Private, when was the declaration of war again?"

"Ummm, five minutes ago Skippah."


	4. Part Four: Raid Night, The First Raid

**The Battle of Central Park**

Plot Summary: After discovering a stash of paintball guns, the penguins start using firearms in their missions. But after refusing to let King Julien 'play' with them, an all out Penguin-Lemur war breaks out which devastates the entire zoo.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Penguins of Madagascar

_If you have been wondering about why it took so long to update this story, I give you several reasons. First, schoolwork, simple as that. Second, a "small''__ power outage because of the storm. Finally, due to some technical difficulties Drunken Tavern has been experiencing. As such, we are doing a mass update sometime this week, so be sure to check out all the other stories of those ragtag Taverners!_

_Thanks to reviewers xxAznPenguin,InternetGirl123, Kukipye, lemurqueen, EppopinkfangirlXDXDXD, and to hardrocker21_.

_~Drunken Rookie_

** Part Four: Raid Night, The First Raid  
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****Skipper Fidelis – Raid on the Jungle Throne**

"Alright boys, let's move." Skipper called silently from behind a bench, gesturing at his team beside him. Hefting his marker, he slid on his belly towards the wall of the lemur enclosure. His team quickly followed, finding cover within the shadows the wall cast against the yellow glow of the street lamps.

"Lock and load boys." Skipper said, turning to his teammates, each nodding in response.

'_Ringtail would never have seen this coming._' Skipper thought amusingly to himself.

After enduring three of the blasted lemur's fruit-bomb attacks, Skipper knew it was time for some payback. The foursome leapt over the wall at Skipper's signal, landing behind King Julien's bouncy house. The moon was absent from its usual place in the sky, which worked for the penguins, bathing them in darkness. Skipper calmed himself, sensing Kowalski's presence behind him. He tapped Kowalski's shoulder, who tapped the others as well. Skipper trained his team how to properly communicate with each other even in the pitch-blackness, using only taps and touching. With it being nearly impossible to see, and verbal communication no longer an option, the penguins had to rely upon that system in order to better coordinate a devastating strike, as Skipper had done many times over.

He peeked his head around the corner and, in the faint glow of the nearby lampposts, caught the faint silhouettes of Mort and Maurice, standing on either side of the platform, Julien's unmistakable crown's shadow looming above his throne. Elaborately signaling what he saw to Kowalski, who in turn signed it to the others; he knew it was all going according to his plan.

'_Affirmative. The others are already in position._' Kowalski signed on Skipper's flipper.

After surveying the surroundings a second time, Skipper signed '_GO! Now!_' to Kowalski through touch, and signaling to the others across the platform using a hand gesture. The four leapt into action: the resounding shot from Rico's marker, and Mort collapsed, so efficiently neutralized he went down without a sound. Skipper aligned his own marker and fired a shot, hitting Maurice square in the chest, who, same as his fallen comrade, went down without a sound. The group then proceeded to surround the platform, their markers all directed at Julien's barely visible outline perched on his throne.

"Bring your face into the light Ringtail." Skipper announced, aligning his aim to that of Julien's head. "I want you to see this coming."

"Ovah hir, silly penguin." Said an unmistakable voice that echoed throughout the enclosed habitat; but it did not come from the one perched on the throne.

Gasping loudly at the realization of his mistake; Skipper whirled around to see a blinding light flash as several lamps around the enclosure were activated, searing his vision and forcing him to raise his flipper to shield his eyes. His team was caught off guard as well, with Private crying out in surprise at the flashing light. Skipper strained to make out anything, but all he could see was white, and all he could hear was the Lemur King's annoying but menacing laughter. His grip on his marker tightening, he turned his gaze away from the blinding light. In doing so, he finally saw his most crucial error. To either edges of the platform, still smeared in blue paint, were statues woven from bark and leaves made to resemble Mort and Maurice, so skillfully crafted it so closely resembled the two lemurs in the faint streetlight. The stature perched on the throne was made of the same materials as well, the crown of a discarded coconut shell and rotting banana leaves, a hideous grin was painted on it, mocking the penguins.

Skipper's mouth opened in surprise as his feet were suddenly ensnared and violently pulled upwards, making him dangle upside down a few feet above the ground. The beams of light no longer focusing on him, his vision recovered only to see the real King Julien standing on top of one of the zoo's stadium lights, which they only brought out for special events, all arranged in a semi-circle around the lemur habitat. He looked around to see his teammates roped as well, suspended in midair, their markers five feet below them, and Maurice on a control panel, but Mort was nowhere to be seen. Skipper tried to undo his binds, but the rope was too firm, woven and knotted expertly from the same materials used to make the fake effigies of the lemurs.

"Are you being ready now to surrendah and be admitting to yoh foolishness stupid penguins?" Julien questioned, intense joy radiating from each syllable.

"**NEVER!**" Skipper shouted violently, although knowing full well the situation would worsen with such an answer.

"Oops-y, wrong answer!" King Julien said sarcastically. He then erupted into a fit of malicious laughter.

Skipper felt Private quiver to his left, and heard a slow rumbling beneath him. He looked down to see a gigantic vat of greenish slime being pushed by the unmistakably tiny form of Mort. Amazingly, the tiny mouse lemur was able to move the tank of fluid all the way from its hiding place and positioning it directly beneath the penguins. Skipper knew it wouldn't bode well as he watched Julien descend acrobatically from his spot above the lights to the control panel, abruptly pushing Maurice away. He then looked up, looking directly into Skipper's eyes, with a manic glint in his own. He pulled down a lever on the panel, his gaze never leaving Skipper's eyes, the malicious smile still present on his face. A split second later, the binds released them, and Skipper and his companions screamed as they fell and were plunged into the slime. Skipper recovered, and struggled to surface, only then realizing that the 'slime' was in reality, green paint. He broke the surface, gasping for air, Julien's laughter ringing in his ears. His eyes stung from the paint, but he had to get out of here as fast he could. He groped for the edges of the tank, and found it a few moments later. He pulled himself out of the vat and landed sloppily on the artificial grass. He reached out involuntarily, and found the handle of his paintball marker. Grabbing it and using it to support himself in getting up, he propelled himself into a belly slide, his team doing the same behind him. He leapt up the enclosure wall, and he didn't stop until he was safe and sound inside his own lair, trying not to think about how Julien, out of all the rivals he had ever faced, which included fierce and diabolical minds such as Dr. Blowhole, Officer X and Savio, was able to defeat him.


	5. Part Four: Raid Night, The Second Raid

**The Battle of Central Park**

Plot Summary: After discovering a stash of paintball guns, the penguins start using firearms in their missions. But after refusing to let King Julien 'play' with them, an all out Penguin-Lemur war breaks out which devastates the entire zoo.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Penguins of Madagascar

_Part 2 of Chapter 4. Thanks to reviewers InternetGril123, Asmith137, mutated-ducks-rule,__ hardrocker21._

**Part Four: Raid Night, The Second Raid**

****Pars Regni Julien – Late-y Raidy Thank-y to Lady**

Julien was still laughing when a rather angry Marlene strode in. Maurice had stomped off angrily, muttering something which very much sounded like 'pointless war'. Marlene frowned at the sight of the aye-aye, but it deepened at the thought of talking to Julien, but approached him nonetheless.

"Hey Julien?"

"Ohohoho, did you see-hee hee-his fa-face!"

He paid no heed to his right-hand man, so it didn't take long for Marlene to figure that Julien wouldn't even bother paying attention to her either. She took a few more steps toward the monarch, before shrugging in disgust. He was doubled over in laughter; when he wasn't clutching his chest, he was banging his fist on the ground. She turned to leave, but amidst the wild laughter from Julien, she heard a small squeal at her feet. She looked down to see Mort smiling up at her with his arms raised high. Smiling back and understanding immediately, she picked the mouse-lemur up and pulled him into a hug.

"Hey there Mort." She said to the lemur still cuddling her right shoulder. "Why's King Julien so happy?"

"King Julien was able to painty the mean, little penguins again!" Mort exclaimed, laughing as Marlene started patting his head.

"So that explains the green paint." She said, more to herself than to Mort, remembering the sight of four, green contrails of paint leading to the penguin habitat as she came to visit Julien, who now was laughing so uncontrollably the threat of asphyxiation seemed very real.

She turned around to see Julien, starting to wheeze because of his fit of laughter. Marlene put Mort down and turned to Julien.

"Hey Julien!"

Finally, the lemur looked up and caught Marlene's eyes. His own widening in surprise, he pointed a finger at her as if to say something to her, but his maw just opened wider and more tears of mirth trickled from his eyes. Marlene, having had enough of Julien's giggling, calmly walked up to and behind him. He was slumped over still shaking with laughter, when Marlene slipped her paws under his armpits and pulled him up; still frowning as she did so. As his feet struggled to find solid ground and regain his footing, his laughter ebbed away. After one last chuckle, he wiped the tears from his face and turned around to address the impatient otter.

"Well, what may I be doing foh you my dear Marlene?"

"A lot of things in fact." Marlene said grumpily, still peeved at the lemur.

"Go on" He replied calmly, his eyes half-lidded, and his paws on his waist.

Marlene started in surprise, not expecting Julien's answer to be calm. The lemur was not in his usual 'good mood', he was in a _very_ good mood. Apparently the only thing that delighted the lemur more than dancing and bossing his subjects around was defeating his rivals. Marlene decided she had best take advantage of the situation before Julien reverted back to his old arrogant self, for an occasion such as this was incredibly rare: Julien was being generous.

"Well first of all," Marlene began right away, her voice even, wanting nothing to ruin such a rare moment. "Could you be more vigilant about which territories your fruit bombs fall on? I had to clean my whole house from top to bottom, and you know, it is kind of time consuming."

"Mm-hmm." Julien hummed while nodding his head at Marlene, the smile still present on his face.

Marlene gulped before continuing. She struggled to fight the temptation to rush what she was saying, for she knew that such moments ever lasted beyond a few minutes before Julien's head started to inflate with his usual selfish qualities.

"Second, if you do hit my place then it should be collateral damage, and you should help me clean it or at the very least grant some form of compensation."

"Alright." Julien said, still smirking. He shifted his weight to his side, making him look more at ease and less pompous.

"Well, why don't I just generalize it for you: do you mind ending this war?" Marlene asked delicately. "I mean, it's not doing anyone any good, and it's not as if the whole zoo isn't suffering from the effects of it. I mean, haven't you also considered the fact that the penguins are also more technologically advanced? I'm sure this whole war wouldn't have started if they just didn't find those paintball markers at Zoo Storage and-"

"Wha-Wait! What now?" Julien started, interrupting Marlene, his eyes widening in surprise at what she had said. "How do you know of dis infohmashun?"

"Well, Private told me." Marlene said nonchalantly.

"The chubby nice-y one? About what?" Julien said quickly, egging Marlene on.

"I told you, Private told me that they found those paintball guns in a dumpster inside the Zoo Storage Warehouse; then Kowalski shrank them and the ammo so they can use it in their operations and what not."

"Da Warehouses you say?" Julien said giddily, ravenous for any more information.

"Yeah, I already told you that. Zoo Storage." Marlene said impatiently. "Look, I don't really see what you're not getting here and-"

Marlene's gaze started to drift off as she was talking before she finally realized what she had said. Her voice suddenly canceled out, as if a lump in her throat blocked her from uttering another word. She slowly turned her head to look at Julien, before sharply exhaling.

"Oh fudge."

As Marlene stared at the manic glint in King Julien's eyes, she knew, without a doubt, that instead of negotiating the peaceable end of an unreasonable war with a rarely reasonable Julien, she had only indefinitely prolonged it.

**-*Later On…*-**

The hatch slowly parted, allowing a stream of faint moonlight to cascade into the darkness below. The intruders leapt nimbly in, landing noiselessly, and paying no attention to the sleeping figures beside them. They stopped, allowing their eyes to adjust to the faint light, but Nature gifted them with being able to see in the near-darkness, and in a split-second stole away to the door to their left. They froze as they heard a loud snore beside them. The tallest of them approached silently, gazing at the sleeping face of his rival, able to make out the few traces of green paint on the edges of his feathers. A grinned appeared on his face, but he didn't focus his attention on the snoozing penguin before him, but rather at the one above him, his large physique easily distinguishable. The intruder raised a hand, and gently poked the other's muscular abdomen, after which a small grunt was heard, and he held out his other hand to catch the falling object. He caught it quickly, still wet and sticky, but essential to their success. The door in front of him opened swiftly, and he looked up to see his rather overweight companion exit, a small gun-shaped object with a satellite dish around it in his hands. And with that, they exited, replaced the hatch, and stole away into the night.

"Look at it Maurice!" Julien said raising the heavy marker high in triumph, a huge grin on his face, tossing away the fluid-drenched wire which they used to pick the lock of the door and the dumpster. "Isn't it magnificent? But you know, not moh magnificent than yoh King."

"Yeah, whatever." His right-hand man replied, thoroughly bored, his gaze focused on Mort, trying to sink his teeth into one the spherical ammunition for the markers.

"I like this gumball. It's owwy!"

"Are you being ready Maurice?" Julien said, laying down the marker at his feet.

"Yeah, whatever." He replied again, steadying the aim of the gadget in his hands.

After steadying the aim, Maurice activated it, striking the marker at King Julien's feet. And as bright green light enveloped the firearm, King Julien erupted into a fit of menacing laughter; his eyes reflecting the bright light, making them look almost reptilian. The light died away, and the King raised his now miniaturized weapon high and aimed at the mouse-lemur still trying to bite into the ammunition. He fired an air-propelled shot, and Mort was sent flying, finally splattering against the wall, his fur coated with sickly green paint. Julien's menacing laughter grew in volume as the bright green light flashed again, and echoed into the night.


	6. Part Five: Rally Call and a Mop

**The Battle of Central Park**

Plot Summary: After discovering a stash of paintball guns, the penguins start using firearms in their missions. But after refusing to let King Julien 'play' with them, an all out Penguin-Lemur war breaks out which devastates the entire zoo.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Penguins of Madagascar

_Merry Christmas, Season's Greetings, Happy Holidays and a Great Hanukkah guys! This probably means I'll have a lot of time to write now that school's down for sometime._

_Thanks to reviewers mutated-ducks-rule, Asmith137, hardrocker21, and Skystar Leader of FlameClan_

**Part Five: Rally Call and a Mop**

The lair was eerily silent. Kowalski shifted uneasily in his seat as he reorganized the documents on the table, which he did over and over again simply because he didn't have anything to do. He finished cleaning the decontamination shower the other day, which still bore remnants of green paint sloughing off their feathers in a horrid reminder of their foolishness. It took Kowalski ages to get all of the paint off his body, his densely packed feathers proving to be a nuisance as it soaked up all the paint. He shivered in his seat, he and others quite glad that that bitter moment had passed. Nevertheless, it had an annoying habit of lingering in his memories. He tried distracting himself with inventing, drafting blueprints, or doing whatever he was doing now; all of which resulted in a bomb, several blueprints for an improved Buttwarmer, and a splitting headache.

Occasionally, he would take a glance at Private, humming to himself, sitting, his back leaning against the bunk beds, or perhaps at Rico, lying on his bunk a few feet above Private but with his eyes wide open, but what caught his eye the most was the constantly shifting form of Skipper, quickly pacing up and down the concrete floor. It didn't take a genius of Kowalski's caliber to realize that Skipper was deeply unnerved these past few days. If he looked closely, he could see Skipper's left eye twitching, or perhaps his beak opening as if to speak, but closing a split-second later, or perhaps the way he shivered, possibly with rage, from time to time. This ticks, of course carried the underlying source of everyone's worry, and everyone knew what it meant, and Skipper knew it too: they were losing.

Skipper was never one to back down in a fight even though he knew the odds were stacked against him. Oftentimes Kowalski caught him rambling on about how Julien, although clearly inexperienced in any tactical know-how, was able to best him, and merely did so through the penguins' own incompetence and doubt of Julien's intent on war. Private, however, was convinced otherwise. He believed that they were merely being affected by a constant string of bad luck. Skipper instantly dismissed it, believing there was no such thing as luck, only cold hard action. Kowalski silently agreed with Skipper, but began to doubt as to whether he made the right decision as he found out he somehow misplaced his Shrink-Ray.

Kowalski idly bit the end of the pencil he was holding, before using it to tap his feathery forehead. He stole another glance of Skipper, now muttering to himself, his eyes narrowing. Kowalski cocked his head to the side, and frowned.

"**MEN!**" Skipper suddenly called.

Taken off guard by Skipper's outburst, Kowalski jumped up in surprise, scattering the documents on the floor, Rico let out a yell and tumbled down from his bunk, only to land on Private sitting beneath him. Kowalski rushed over to help the two up, and then looked at Skipper expectantly.

"Personally, I've had enough of Ringtail, his ridiculous dance parties, his singing, and his incessant lack of responsibility as a leader, and now he foolishly chooses to wage war on US? He may have caught us by surprise, he may have had a few tricks up his sleeve, he may have had a few victories, but the war isn't over yet, and I will NEVER, EVER GIVE IN UNTIL IT IS!"

As if to emphasize what he said, he retrieved his paintball marker, and held it high in the air, sparking awe in each of his comrades' hearts.

"**IF RINGTAIL WANTS A WAR, NOW HE'S GOT ONE!**"

Private beamed up and picked his marker up too, with Kowalski doing the same beside him. Rico nodded giddily, and regurgitated his as well. And with a stern but determined smile on his face, Skipper rallied his team and set off to the lemur habitat.

**-*Somewhere else…*-**

Marlene was still upset with herself.

She returned to her not-so-peaceful home after her seventh, probably ninth attempt these past few days to dissuade Julien from continuing the war, which only drove her to endless frustration when she received the same answer from the King lemur one way or another: no. She clambered over her habitat's wall only to find it just the way she had left it: the pool still tinted a sickly green, caused by a berserk Rico who dove into it to rid himself of the paint the other night; whatever remained of Julien's Fruit Bomb Barrage which mistakenly detonated in her house lining the cave entrance and floor; and splatters of blue paint, again from a berserk Rico, who fired round after round of ammunition which quite often missed the set targets during target practice and flew directly at the stone exterior of her home behind said targets.

She growled in frustration, not the first time this day, and most certainly not the last as she buried her head in her paws. She rubbed her tired eyes idly, remembering Julien's late night dance party no doubt celebrating his acquisition of the paintball markers the other night. She knew from experience that there was no way to silence him once he began, and so she spent another sleepless night trying (and failing) to shut the noise out.

Marlene let out a huge yawn, scratching her back before she leapt over her contaminated pool and onto the stone slab outside the cave entrance. She sniffed and retched almost instantly, realizing that the remainders of the fruit bombs were beginning to decay.

'_I guess I can stave off sleep until I clean up this mess, seeing as Julien probably won't._' She thought to herself as she struggled to make it inside her home without slipping on the decomposing pulp as well as making it in one breath.

As soon as she reached the farthest corner in her cave home, she breathed in a lungful, her paw reaching out on its own and wrapping itself around the familiar handle of a mop. Marlene then gritted her teeth, steeled herself, and charged the yellow death cloud mop-first.


	7. Part Six: Operation: Party Pooper

**The Battle of Central Park**

Plot Summary: After discovering a stash of paintball guns, the penguins start using firearms in their missions. But after refusing to let King Julien 'play' with them, an all out Penguin-Lemur war breaks out which devastates the entire zoo.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Penguins of Madagascar

_Managed to get this chapter up! Enjoy!_

_Thanks so much to reviewers Asmith137, hardrocker21, and Skystar Leader of FlameClan. Thanks also to my readers, without whom I would have never amounted to anything._

**Part Six: Operation: Party Pooper**

****(Skipper Fidelis)**

Skipper quickly sprung out of the hatch, and was immediately greeted by the Disco-themed music obviously coming from the nearby lemur habitat. His brow crooking in annoyance, he ordered his well-trained senses to shut out as much of the noise as possible. He looked over at the main entrance, and then watched the crowd depart and the gates swing shut before Alice promptly locked it and sped off home on her scooter. He transferred his gaze to his team emerging from the hatch behind him. He raised his marker high, and then ran and leapt over the wall, landing on his feet and springing into a belly slide in order to channel the excess momentum. Coming to a halt before the wall that separated the lemur habitat from the rest of the zoo, he looked behind him, seeing his team closing the distance quickly.

"What is the plan Skipper?" Kowalski asked, reaching Skipper first. At this point, the music was so loud that Skipper scarcely heard him.

"Simple. We crash this party." Skipper replied, ensuring his voice was loud enough so Private and Rico could hear it as well.

"But Skipper, what if it-" Kowalski gulped. "What if it turns out to be a trap, such as our last attack?"

"Well this time we have to be alert, all of you. All we have to do is storm in and _just_ _plain_ crush him, no questions asked. And besides Kowalski, we have _these_." Skipper then brandished his marker before his strategist. "Julien can't possibly stand up against a full-on assault, at least not for long."

"But Skipper-" Kowalski insisted.

"Look Kowalski" Skipper said sternly. "If we win this, we can put an end to Julien's war nonsense! Now are you ready?"

Rico nodded gleefully, and Private and Kowalski hefted their markers in response. Skipper exhaled sharply and steeled himself. He leapt up and over the brick wall, his team following behind him. His webbed feet landed softly on the artificial grass. He looked up to see the three lemurs and a rather angry Marlene on the wooden throne platform. He wordlessly signaled his team to follow him. He sought refuge in a shadowy alcove behind the tiki bar. He gave the '_halt_' command with his flipper as he concentrated his hearing and caught a stressed Marlene groan in what was apparently a mix of disgust and frustration over the loudly playing music. He then watched as she jumped down from the platform, her brows still narrowed in anger. Skipper quickly ducked out of sight as she walked past, still grumbling and making threatening gestures at no one in particular, until she leapt over the wall and vanished.

"It appears we aren't the only ones getting riled up by Julien's nonsense." Kowalski whispered to Private.

Skipper leapt into a belly slide and took cover in a nearby ditch. He signaled the others to follow. Skipper hefted his marker, and after steeling himself once again, gave the signal to engage. Rico gave a giddy chuckle that was barely audible due to the sound blasting from a nearby speaker. Skipper sprang into a belly slide and came to a halt in the middle of the enclosure, his marker pointed directly at Julien's crowned head. His team took up their positions on either side of him, their own markers pointed at Julien. The lemurs were somehow unaware that the penguins were now aiming their weapons at them, and kept on dancing. Julien was dancing with his usual, almost supernatural vigor, Maurice was, as usual, dancing halfheartedly, and Mort was slowly inching his way to Julien's tapping feet, his bulbous eyes focused on its every step. Skipper cleared his throat loudly, trying to get the lemurs' attention. Kowalski paused and gave a skeptical look at Private, who shrugged back. Skipper cleared his throat, much more loudly this time, doing the best can to outmatch the music. Maurice caught his eyes and raised his brows in surprise, and his dancing slowed before it came to a complete stop. Julien seemed to have a sixth sense when it came to sensing people who were not dancing, as he opened his mouth to scold Maurice, but caught the penguins on the corner of his vision. He turned to them, and gave them a toothy smile, but did not stop dancing nor lower the music.

"Ringtail" Skipper called, addressing the lemur King directly. "Long have I been forced to endure your taunts, your arrogance, your insults, your selfishness, your constant lacks and failures as a leader, which you never seem to give any effort to correct, and most often your abuse and stupidity, but I did my best to understand as an officer, that after all, you were a civilian, and I would never have forgiven myself if I did anything to an innocent civilian, no matter how misguided or rash it may be. But now Ringtail, now you've gone too far. You chose to wage war on us and if it were someone other than you, I would have crushed them completely and absolutely, obliterated them from the face of the Earth for that; but I understand that it was just another one of your rash acts, just another impulse of yours. Now, I'll give you one last chance, _one last chance_ to surrender and give up on this nonsense that you call a war! If you choose to take up arms against me, then I cannot promise you I'll be able to restrain myself this time, and beat you senseless like you _so richly deserve_! So what's it going to be Ringtail?"

"Err, what?" Julien asked cluelessly. "I didn't really catch that since we were partying so hard you know? You mind repeating it two or three times for me, you know, just to be thorough?"

"I said" Skipper said, trying his best to retain his composure.

"WHAAAAAT!" Julien called, now Moonwalking to his boombox and turning a knob and making the music much louder.

"I SAID LONG HAVE-" Skipper yelled, his face contorted in rage. "AHHH FORGET IT! OPEN FIRE!"

The others raised their markers and fired a shot at King Julien as Maurice ducked and ran for cover. Skipper took aim and fired a round at his head. In a series of quick fluid motions coming from years of dancing, Julien grabbed Mort, who was but a few millimeters away from his dancing feet, and swung him diagonally upwards, catching both Rico's and Kowalski's rounds. He yelled 'Haha missed me!", taunting them, as he released Mort and went into a one-handed cartwheel in time with the music, evading Skipper's and Private's shots ("Too slow little penguins!").

Surprised at Julien's capability to dodge paintballs, Skipper paused for a second before yelling 'Shoot him again!"

Julien was now doing a robot-dance reminiscent of Lemmy, and angled each of his hand chops, hooks and hangs and head turns, once again avoiding all the paintballs that flew at him.

"I am ro-bo-ot King Jul-i-yen, i-di-yot peng-gu-weens, can-not e-ven be hitting a ro-bo-ot!"

"Again!" Skipper yelled, losing patience.

Julien slid his legs apart, making a perfect split as the paintballs soared above his crowned head.

"Awww, so close!"

"AGAIN!"

The lemur twisted from his split and into a cyclone-like seven-twenty spin, the shots whizzing past him.

"Kent touch dis!"

"**AGAIN!**"

Julien anticipated it yet again, but simply moonwalked to the left, the now-erratic aims of the penguins working to the lemur's advantage.

"Silly penguins, just be dancing, and all yoh troubles will be going away."

"**AGAIN! AGAIN! AGAIN!**"

This time each of the penguins let out three bursts of paintballs, with Julien doing a very complicated series of gymnastic maneuvers, but managing to avoid every one of them.

"Y'know, a few moh painty balls and you penguins will have given my beautiful Kingdom a whole new paint job. Here, be allowing me to be returning to you da favoh." He said, winking at the penguins as he produced his own marker from behind his throne.

"Good golly wally he's armed!" Kowalski yelled as Julien fired a shot which sent Private flying backwards, his white-feathered belly and chest now smeared with sickly green paint.

"**TAKE COVER!**" Skipper called, picking Private up and dragging him to a nearby artificial bush as a flurry of green paintballs flew towards them.

After ensuring that their cover would hold, he analyzed his condition. Private was quite dazed, and would take a few moments to recover. Skipper saw Kowalski and Rico hiding behind a tree, Rico trying and failing to return fire while a panicked Kowalski was muttering ceaselessly behind him. Skipper signaled to the two to regroup at his bush. He tried this several times until Rico caught his eye and nodded. He grabbed Kowalski's flipper and pointed at Skipper. He nodded as well before the two steeled themselves and leapt into a belly slide.

"Kowalski, I need options." Skipper yelled over the music, the volume raised so high he could feel the vibrations produced from the speakers, and had he not known better, would have easily mistaken it for an earthquake.

"Well" Kowalski gulped. "I have one, but it's pretty risky."

"What is it?"

"We escape."

"Risky, but can't we just fight him?"

"Possibly, but that's way riskier."

Skipper took a moment to consider the options given: on one flipper, he could reengage Julien, which was nigh impossible since Julien's ammunition supply seemed inexhaustible, and on the other, they could escape. Skipper knew immediately that he would have to take the latter, considering that one of their number was injured, and the risk of having another was greater if they sought to reengage Julien.

"Alright, let's get out of here."

"Then in such a case, we will need to create a diversion to draw the fire away. Luckily, I may have something that will help us Skipper. Rico, if you please."

Rico nodded and retched, regurgitating a gigantic blue-colored spherical grenade.

"Would this be sufficient enough to create an effective distraction Skipper?"

"Alright." He called, taking the basketball-sized explosive from Rico. "When I give the signal, all of us will run for the wall. Got it? Now, you two take Private, and get ready."

The two nodded and picked Private up by the flippers and slid one of their flippers underneath his shoulders, Rico swallowing his marker and taking Private's. Skipper tightened his grip on the blue grenade in his flipper. He took one final glance at each of his men and nodded, pulling the pin with his free flipper. Kowalski and Rico supported Private as they ran as fast as they could toward the wall while Skipper, with much difficulty, threw the now-active grenade at King Julien, now laughing maniacally while firing round after round at his retreating team. The grenade closed distance quickly, and Skipper grabbed his marker and took off after his retreating team, alternating between belly slides and ducking to evade the wild paintballs.

"YOUR MAJESTY, LOOK OUT!" a voice called.

The voice belonged to none other than Maurice, who ran from out his hiding spot to investigate Julien's wild cackling, but instead saw the grenade heading straight for his King. He quickly dashed and grabbed his own marker from behind the throne. He then stepped out and, using his own marker as a baseball bat, swung it at the incoming grenade, which then flew to the left and out of sight. A split second later, an explosion was heard.

Skipper cursed under his breath, as the grenade went off without Julien even seeming the slightest bit distracted. He glanced at his retreating team, who were almost to the wall. Skipper's brows went up expectantly, hoping against hope they would be able to make it past the wall a few meters from them. They were so close, and Skipper's brows were raised even higher, but sunk quickly in shock as a round caught Kowalski's shoulder, making him cry out in pain. Following their instincts and training, they sought cover in a nearby ditch as paintballs continued to rain down on them, preventing them from going any further. Skipper mashed his beak in frustration, and peeked out from behind his cover. He saw Julien, still firing madly at his team's hiding spot, Maurice beside him, who was firing hesitantly at the ditch, mouthing 'sorry' every time he fired. Mort was still laying down on the artificial grass, using his tiny fingers to draw shapes in the blue paint that smeared head and torso, oblivious to the fact that his humble habitat was now a warzone. Skipper had great difficulty planning out his next move, as the music made it hard to think. He knew his team was pinned down, which meant the lemurs were shooting only at them, which gave him a small window of opportunity as they weren't shooting at him. Steeling himself once more, he grabbed his marker and rolled out of his hiding spot, firing a round at Julien as he did so, which, due to unfortunate lack of aim, barely grazed a startled Maurice.

"**KOWALSKI! RICO! TAKE PRIVATE AND GET OUT NOW!**"

Recognizing Skippper's voice instantly, the two immediately ran towards the wall. Rico, babbling madly, gave Private's marker to Kowalski before he picked Private up by the legs, his other flipper cradling the youngling's head, and the Kowalski leapt up and over the wall, with Rico following behind him. Meanwhile, caught off guard by Skipper's sudden reappearance, Julien took a second to reorient his aim, but it was all the time that Skipper needed. The penguin commando fired a round from his marker as he slid on his belly towards the wall. Julien anticipated the shot yet again, and sidestepped the paintball.

"Haha stupid penguin! See how foolish it is to be shooting at yoh King!"

Skipper put more momentum into his belly slide, the rough artificial grass making it quite cumbersome to slide. Skipper returned fire, using it only to distract the lemur and make good his escape. His instincts taking over yet again, he used his marker as a pole to propel him upwards onto the wall. He flipped so as to land on his feet, just as his instincts forced his body to the left, narrowly avoiding an air-propelled round. His flipper, guided once more by instinct, fired a round back. Julien sidestepped it, and opened his mouth to laugh, but it merely opened in surprise as the music abruptly ceased, as if someone encased them in a dome that cut off all sound. Even Skipper was taken off guard by the sudden loss of earsplitting noise, looking curiously along with Julien at the boombox directly behind the spot where Julien was a moment ago. Now covered in blue paint, it crackled and sparkled before it let out a plume of smoke.

"My boomybox?" Julien whispered.

Amazingly, Skipper heard it, and he did not know as to whether it was shock, surprise, worry or sadness. He gazed idly at the back of Julien's head as he caught a faint sob. Julien was close to tears. Coming to his senses, he leapt off the wall, hefting his marker as he did so. Trying not to feel sorry for Julien, he walked off in the setting sun.

**-*Somewhere else…*-**

Marlene sighed in exhaustion as she laid down her mop. The fruit pulp was cleaned out, the pool was decontaminated and the paint was scrubbed off. She was finally finished with the cleaning. She took a moment to gather her bearings as her thoughts drifted to her conversation earlier with Julien. He was always obnoxious, arrogant, and generally repelling except this time, he was even more obnoxious, arrogant, and generally repelling, which Marlene never thought possible beforehand. The music emanating from his nearby habitat escalated, and she slammed her paws on her ears, doing little to shut the noise out. Marlene sincerely wished she could escape all of the nonsense going on around her, and simply retreat to a sanctuary. She rubbed her eyes, having not slept for two days out of guilt, dance parties, disappointment, or frustration.

She sighed and picked herself up, leaving the mop where it lay, and dived into her now clean pool. It helped in shutting out the music, as the cooling liquid swept through her fur. She could still feel the vibrations coming from the gigantic speakers, but it didn't disturb her in the least. She grew fond of being in water simply because it always made her feel at ease and relaxed. She considered it a pity she couldn't permanently live in water, and always be at peace and serenity. She stayed underwater for what felt like an eternity, allowing herself not to rush, before surfacing. She sighed before clambering onto the stone bank and shaking herself dry. She looked up to stare at the setting sun but then a tiny but noticeable refraction of light caught her attention. It looked as if it was coming closer and closer to her.

"What th-" She said to herself curiously as she squinted to make it out.

It was spherical and blue, and had etchings that reminded her of a-

"Oh no." She muttered and gasped a lungful of air as she dived into her pool a split second before she heard an explosion.

She surfaced almost immediately, and gasped at the sight of her home, just as a small shower of azure paint rained down on her, tinting the water as it fell in tiny droplets. The entire rock face of her cave home and its entrance arch and floor was completely covered in deep blue paint. It's previously shiny surface taking her roughly over a couple hours to clean. She growled in disappointment and anger as she caught the sight of the recently dropped mop, which was also covered from handle to head in blue paint.

"**OH COME ON!**" She yelled.

At that moment, the comfort of knowing the blasting music was silenced did little to ease her frustration.


	8. Part Seven: An Otter Rant

**The Battle of Central Park**

Plot Summary: After discovering a stash of paintball guns, the penguins start using firearms in their missions. But after refusing to let King Julien 'play' with them, an all out Penguin-Lemur war breaks out which devastates the entire zoo.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Penguins of Madagascar

**Part Seven: An Otter Rant**

****(Skipper Fidelis)**

With the wall of the lemur habitat cleared, Skipper set off towards the penguin lair in a hurried belly slide, a grim smile on his beak. He jumped into a belly slide to close the distance, only to see Rico, with an unconscious Private slumped over his shoulder, and Kowalski limping to their habitat. Skipper called out to them and leapt to their position. The two turned, and smiled at the sight of seeing Skipper safe. With the team reunited, the penguins slowly trudged along to their home, only to be barred by a furious and flustered Marlene.

"You guys mind explaining." She said, struggling to keep her voice even.

"Easily Marlene." Skipper replied triumphantly. "We took care of the Julien problem."

At these words, a shrill cry of anguish came from the lemur habitat, clearly the voice of King Julien, to be followed by loud sobs.

"Yah-huh, solved it? Looks like you only made it worse! And what the heck happened to Private and you, Kowalski?"

"Accidents happen Marlene." Kowalski replied calmly, trying to cover up the splatters of paint still visible on his shoulder. "And I'm sure Private will be about in no time."

At these words, Private stirred and groaned. Rico gently set him down, lowering him until Private's feet touched the ground and held him until he waved the dizziness off and could support himself.

"Err – What happened?" Private moaned. "Did we get out of Julien's habitat? Marlene is that you?"

"See, this is exactly what I was talking about Skipper! Continue this and more people will eventually get hurt, which Julien will have no trouble doing."

"The point is Marlene," Skipper cut in, waving her off before she could reply to Kowalski. "We solved the Julien problem, and Private is alright."

As Marlene was opening her mouth to retort, a cry came from Julien.

"**VENGEANCE! VENGEANCE, I SAY!**"

"Right. So I suppose your definition of solved is 'make the enemy madder, make him swear vengeance, loose a few men, swear vengeance on him, make him madder-er, making him swear double vengeance, and then you swear triple vengeance on him, and you know, just keep vengeance-ing each other until you both end up out-vengeance'd and vengeance-less.' Yeah, I totally get that Skipper."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa Marlene. Okay, let's not jump to vengeance-y conclusions. Now the only reason why this so-called war is going on, is because Julien doesn't want to admit he's nothing but a washed-up, old, no-good, has-been king, and I will not stand for his insolence any longer!"

"Okay, now I know what's wrong here."

"Oh, you do? Well I'd like to hear it!" Skipper replied sarcastically.

"What's wrong is that both of you want to be right. It's just like what happened back in my old aquarium. Anyway, these dolphins got in a fight with this tortoise, both were wrong, both thought were right, and well, no one is left. I'm thinking you and Julien will end up the same way, and worst part is, you're dragging the whole zoo down with you."

"Now that is an outright lie! We're not dragging the zoo down!"

"Oh, really? How do you think Mason's doing, when he has to clean not only Phil's mess but yours as well? Hmm? How about the chameleons, who are now always being misread as blue because when they try to say something in red or purple but through someone's mistake, not saying names here, _ugh Skipper_, all they can say is blue! And how do you think I'm doing, when I'm stuck cleaning up the aftermath of your pointless fighting!"

"Pfft! That can't even be considered damage! The zoo will be in tip-top shape faster than you know it."

"Damage! Open your eyes and look around you Skipper! THE ZOO IS A TRAIN WRECK!"

"Alice can clean it up like she always does, and she won't even be suspecting us because of her philosophy that all animals are stupid. Seriously, how can women be so dumb?"

"Dumb! I'll show you who's dumb you little-" Marlene replied menacingly as she advanced on Skipper, only to be held back by Kowalski and Private, as they intercepted her charge, dashed to her side, and seized her arms, their fists balled up in fury.

"Lemme go! I need to-"

"No you won't!" Skipper said. "As I mentioned earlier, this mess will get cleaned up. There's no need for you to make more of it."

Marlene glared at Skipper threateningly but nevertheless stopped struggling against Kowalski and Private's hold. After assuring himself that Marlene wasn't going to lunge herself at Skipper, they began to slowly release her, but both jumped back in surprise when a vicious growl escaped from Marlene. Rico flinched and looked to Skipper, who was smirking at her. Marlene opened her mouth to retort but bit it back just as Mason the chimpanzee descended from the wall of their nearby habitat.

"Oh Skipper, just the chap I was looking for."

"What is it?"

"Apparently, we couldn't help overhearing your conversation with the lovely Marlene, and of course the anguished cries of the self-proclaimed monarch a few yards away." Mason announced as he landed.

"Get to your point simian."

"We have information and a proposition that might be of some interest to you."

"Well, what's the information? And where's Phil? Aren't you two usually inseparable?"

"Perhaps it would be best to show it to you rather than tell it you." Mason said as he frowned deeply and motioned towards the _Zoovenir Shop_. "Follow me."

The penguins and Marlene accompanied Mason at an even pace, but sped up as they heard a clamor throughout the zoo, which grew louder as they approached the _Zoovenir Shop_. Soon Mason and Marlene broke into a run as the penguins went into a belly slide, with all of them catching Julien's shouting voice, which was the cause of the uproar. They came to a halt behind a wall, the group peeking out from the corner, only to see King Julien standing on a table, with Phil, Mort and Maurice beside him, yelling to a crowd of animals before him.

"-AND WE SHALL BE TAKING BACK WHAT IS BEING OURS FROM THE PENGUINS! DEY TINK DEY CAN JUST DO WATEVER DEY ARE TO BE WANTING: COMING INTO YOH HABITATS WITHOUT SO MUCH AS A 'HELLO, MAY WE BE COMING IN?', OR STEALING DA COTTONY CANDY AND DA SNOWY CONES AND NOT SHARING IT WID US!"

Loud roars of approval and applause from the animals gathered greeted Julien's words.

"NOW WE BE STANDING UP TO DEM! NO MOH IN-YOH-FACE BOSSINESS PENGUIN, NO MOH BRAINY PENGUIN WHO TINKS HE IS SMARTERER THAN EVERYWAN ELSE, NO MOH VOMITY PENGUIN WHO BLOWS EVERYTING UP! Err, the little, polite-y penguin we can keep, he's a good guy. No problems against him. BUT, DU UDDERS CAN TAKE A HIKE MAN! BE JOINING FORCES WID YOH KING AND TOGEDAH WE WILL DRIVE DA PENGUINS OUT OF MY KINGDOM! I WILL REIGN OVAH MY KINGDOM! MY PENGUINLESS KINGDOM!"

"Yeah! I've had enough of those penguins. Always tellin' us what we cannot do and what not." Bing said enthusiastically.

"I hear dat baby!" Pinky the Flamingo piped up. "It's bad enough I gotta put up with their nonsense, but I can't do nuttin' 'bout it eitha!"

"I hear that! King Julien for the win." Leonard the Koala replied eagerly. "Nuts to those penguins."

The uproar grew louder, as a chant of "_Julien! Julien!_" rose from the crowd.

The penguins and their companions drew back and looked at each other, all shaken from they've just witnessed. Skipper frowned and started walking back to his habitat.

"I told you this would get out of hand." Marlene hissed as she caught up to Skipper.

"Yes." Mason said sadly. "Even Phil has decided to join that madman's crusade for a penguin-less zoo."

"I don't understand why the animals harbor so much resentment towards us." Kowalski remarked. "I don't brazenly display that I'm smarter than everyone else at the zoo."

"Actually Kowalski, you kind of do." Marlene said bluntly.

"What? I do not!"

"Of course you do."

It was Skipper who spoke this time, his voice now audible over the weakening chants of "_Julien! Julien!_". Marlene caught up with him just as he leapt over the wall and landed on the rocky platform of his habitat. She saw that his brow was creased in annoyance, and saw in his eyes that he was desperately trying to find a solution to his now-desperate situation. Marlene took a step toward him, trying to find anything to say to either comfort the commando or reason with him to conclude this war. The others landed behind them as Skipper's brow perked up in eerie confidence.

"Skipper, I - " Marlene began awkwardly, unsure of whether to press on the current situation or to remind Skipper of his foolishness in fighting an unreasonable lemur as she had done for the past week.

"No Marlene." Skipper said coolly. "You can say whatever you want, but I've come up with a solution."

"You have?" Kowalski piped up in genuine curiosity.

"Boys, I think it's about time we brought in new recruits."

"Err - what?" Marlene asked sarcastically.

"I agree Skipper old chap." Mason burst out. "Add a little bulk in your ranks and you'll be able to come on par to that joke of a king. Sadly, Phil wasn't sensible enough to join with the side of reason. Poor fellow."

"Glad to hear it Mason. Fall in with the others." Skipper said as the chimp joined the other penguins in their line.

"We just need to find the other animals Julien hasn't swayed over or dislike him, and rally them to the penguin banner." Kowalski replied. "Honestly, I still cannot figure out how Julien was able to rally so many with just one little inconsistent, misspelled, mispronounced, almost-rehearsed-and-typed speech. I can't help feeling as if every detail of our lives is being written by person or persons unknown."

"Forget, the storyboard Kowalski. This is serious." Skipper called before turning to Marlene. "Marlene, you're a girl."

"Yeah, nice of you to notice Skipper." Marlene hissed venomously.

"Well, under normal circumstances I wouldn't even think to include females in my unit, but given the current situation and the instances in the past in which you have proved yourself to be invaluable to our multiple operations, I suppose you can join my unit." Skipper said, his voice dropping to a mutter as he reached the end.

"Wait, err, what? You're asking me to join your team? You must be joking!" Marlene coughed out as she broke into a fit of giggles.

"I never joke when it comes to a situation like this."

"What you say now?" Marlene blurted out, her next giggle caught in her throat. "You're serious?"

"Mm-hmm"

"Then no, nuh-uh, absolutely not! I don't want to become a part of this! EVER!"

"But Marlene, we need you!" Private said to Marlene, flinching as her fiery gaze settled on him.

"No Private, what that big-headed buffoon Skipper of yours needs is to feel big, bigger than anyone." She exclaimed, rounding on Skipper. "You know what Skipper? You could have just ignored Julien, because, knowing him, he would've just given up after the first four days and would've gotten back to his dance parties, but oh-no, you couldn't do that. Instead, because you wanted to show Julien who was boss, you attacked him anyway, digging yourself and your team _and the zoo_ even deeper into your little lover's quarrel. The point is Skipper, you always want to be a hero, no matter what, even if you have to become the villain to do so."

Marlene glared at him one last time, before speeding off in the direction of her habitat. All of the penguins were shocked by the otter's outburst. Private was quivering silently next to a white-faced Mason. Kowalski was gulping down every word he wanted to say, and Rico was eyeing the spot where Marlene vanished nervously as if she would return with a baseball bat and smash Skipper to pieces. Skipper himself was stony-faced, grinding his beak together, his blue eyes clearly indicating a storm brewing.

"_She'll be back_.", whispered Skipper to himself, his voice laced with ice, although Private was able to sense some hurt beneath it.

"Men, that includes you too Mason." Skipper called after a brief moment of pause. "Spread out and search the zoo for animals willing to join us and fight against Julien. I declare '_Operation: Rally Call_' a go!"


End file.
